A Reintroduction And The Challenge Of Being Here Now

It has been a long time that I have inhabited my YouTube channel as well as writing for Substack. They both held a place in my heart as far as my own personal expression and service into the world, however that is received. I have spent the past year plus focusing on myself and focusing on upgrading my financial situation.

The financial situation has increased somewhat, but what has really shifted is the feeling of being ‘in my own skin’. Being in my own agency. At times it has felt isolating yet not necessarily lonely. Just focusing on what is present for me at any particular moment. In retrospect, I can see where I have looped in cycles yet those all felt sacred somehow.

In that hermitage, I have come to appreciate myself and my current situation with more compassion, grace, and acceptance. It has also highlighted how it is time to come out of the cave and into the world. I wrote about that earlier but I clearly didn’t feel ready to be more consistent. All part of the journey and the healing.

I have taken up reading Ram Dass’ pivotal book Be Here Now. It has illuminated how challenging that can really be for any one of us when we really choose to consciously be in that space. We are constantly surrounded by means to take us out of the Now and into the There, wherever ‘there’ is. The irony, I realized, is that even those distractions are calling us back into the Now in its own way. A sacred disonance that actually is trying to bring us back into resonance to what IS, as hard as that is to feel.

I have used many different ways to take me out of the pain of the Now as well as the bliss of the Now. It sounds odd to suggest that we would want to distract from the bliss, but as someone with a profound amount of unworth you can see how that is sadly true. I think that is a perspective that is not talked about enough because it goes against our logic, but the heart and soul are not logical. They are liminal. They take us into the Unknown and Unconsidered.

Being present to what IS can be both a challenge and a gateway. It can be transcendent and embodied. It is a fucking beautiful mystery and at times a nightmare depending on what you are experiencing. As I said in my video, it is all good and all God. The transcendent and the transgressive that leads us into a deeper layer of our human experience and our need to unify our separation from the All That Is.

It is for this reason that I continue to share my process and my journey. Maybe we can each help each other get there together. :)